


“What if I can’t love her like she deserves?”

by Pricefieldfan01



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Cheryl centric, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Lesbian Cheryl Blossom, Light Angst, One Shot, Post 3x10, Sad Cheryl Blossom, jugheads a bit of a dick, sad Toni topaz, supportive cheryl blossom, supportive girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 16:11:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17531978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pricefieldfan01/pseuds/Pricefieldfan01
Summary: *Set after Toni and Cheryl blossom are kicked out of the serpents in 3x09**contains spoilers for 3x10*Cheryl talks to jughead about her being kicked out and reveals how much she really cares about Toni and the serpents, things get angsty and fluffy.This is my first fan fiction and it’s probably horrible so yeah





	“What if I can’t love her like she deserves?”

**Author's Note:**

> Update: I just wrote my second fan fiction about supercorp so if you want to, check that out and let me know what you think.

*I don’t own any of these characters, if I did riverdale would be very different so yeah*

*after the party that jughead threw*

As Jughead picked up empty beer cans and crisp packets, he started going over all the events of the day. The murder and raging teenagers, his best friend coming back to town, and his SATS weighted his mind like a ton of bricks. Sweetpea had taken fangs inside and he had fallen asleep drunk out of his mind, but who could blame him he did just kill a guy and rejoined the serpents. It’ll be one hell of a hangover, but Jughead couldn’t think about that now, all he could think about was just how fucked up the situation had gotten.

“You know, yesterday Toni told me that she loved me.” Cheryl blossom’s voice broke Jughead’s train of thought and now she was walking towards where Jughead was standing, heeled boots piercing crumpled crisp packets as she walked.

And as Jughead brought his eyes up to look at Cheryl blossom, he saw something he hadn’t seen since the day she thought his father had killed her brother Jason. Her eyes were puffy and red, looking as though she had been crying for hours on end, signature red lipstick smudgy from trying to reapply with shaky hands and mascara still running slightly.

“After she said I love you, I panicked for just a second before saying it back. I hadn’t heard that for so long that I was scared I couldn’t say it back.” Cheryl spoke honestly, breath catching slightly like she was trying to remain strong and cold. “I thought what if I can’t love her, the way she deserves to be loved because she deserves way better than being loved by me.” As she spoke she seemed determined not to look at Jughead for too long, scared that she could break from looking into the eyes of the man who took away the family of the woman she loves.  
Everything was mainly silent now, Cheryl has stopped talking and the fire had died down. The only sound now was the wind whistling through the trees.

“What are you doing here, Cheryl?” Jughead asked, breaking through the silence. She bowed her head, looking down and trying to come up with a reason. Jughead took a step back and starting walking towards the serpent throne. She was still stood with her head lowered, eyes scowering the floor when he sat down on the leather throne and looked up to see if she had answered.

“I’m here to ask you to reinstate Toni into the serpents.” She finally answered.

“And why the hell would I do that?” Jughead asked harshly, anger clear in his voice.

“Do you ever think about all the things that have happened in our lives in the last two or so years and wonder where everything went to hell?” She asked. Jughead looked puzzled as to why Cheryl was changing the subject and was going to open his mouth to speak and tell her to answer him, but curiousity got the better of him. He furrows his brows and gestures her to go on.

“Because I do. I think about it all the time.” She took a breath before continuing. “I think about the river where Jason should have come back from. I think about my father hanging himself in the barn after he was found to be a murderer. I think about how cold the ice of sweet water river was, the day Archie saved me.” She took a breath and stayed silent for a little while longer.  
“I think about the black hood making everybody fear their lives, I think about the smell of the fire I started at thornehill, I think about having to fake my forgiveness of your father, I think about the gargoyle king and how fucked up and free fizzle rocks make you feel.” She spoke until she had run out of breath as if she had a time limit she had to fulfil.

“Where are you going with this?” Jughead finally asked after hearing Cheryl rant about all the fucked up things that happened in the past two years.

“A lot of the last two years I was alone. It used to be just me and Jason but then he was murdered by my father and it was just me.” She told him this as if trying to make it sound like she was trying to read a fact file. Trying to stop herself from showing any emotion.

“And then I met Toni and for the first time in so long I felt like I could breathe again, she didn’t see the sarcastic comments and the bitchy attitude, she saw me. She came into my life and saved me and she’s been saving me ever since. I think that it’s finally time, I do something for her.”  
The way Cheryl talked about Toni was honest and pure, she spoke about her like she was pure light in a sea of darkness, a wide smile plastered on her face when she said her name.

Jughead looked at Cheryl and was taken aback by how honest Cheryl was. He’d never seen the side of Cheryl blossom that spoke about the people she loved in such awe. Had never seen her be honest about how she really felt if it wasn’t her ice cold exterior.

“I love her and she deserves so much out of life, she is beautiful and kind and she is fiercely protective of anyone she loves, she sees people and helps them. She grew up in the serpents and she would die to protect them. And I think deep down you know that you will never find a more loyal and trusted serpent.”Cheryl said passionately waiting for Jughead to confirm all the reasons Toni is an amazing serpents.

“You don’t think I know all that?!” Jughead bursted out, standing up from his chair and moving towards Cheryl. Suddenly aware of how angry that must have sounded, he let out a sigh.  
“I can’t just let her back in, she knew the rules and she di–.”

“She didn’t steal the egg, I did. She wasn’t even there. It was all me” Cheryl lied quickly.  
“Toni belongs in the serpents, they are her family.”

“You don’t get to tell me how to run the serpents Cheryl, you don–.”

“Because I don’t count, right?” A sense of betrayal in her eyes.  
“I don’t know what exactly I’ve done that could make you hate me the way you always have. I protected the serpents, I helped your father, I stood with the serpents time and time again and you have never seen me as a serpent.” Sadness replaced the betrayed look in her eyes as her eyes glistened and filled with water.

“You said you didn’t care about the serpents Cheryl.” Jughead said defensively.

“And you actually believe that, you think I would have given that egg back if I didn’t care. So you can hate me if you want, you can call me a bitch or claim that I’m not a real serpent but don’t you think for one second that I don’t care about the serpents.” She cried passionately not caring about the tears falling from her eyes.  
Cheryl wipes her eyes and stood there facing Jughead, who was now looking at the floor, trying to decide what to say.

“So you can kick me out, keep me from the serpents if you think I’m not worthy of being here, but Toni has fought beside you through all of it, she has been here since the beginning and she will fight for this gang until the end, no matter if she’s officially a serpent. She loves you guys and she would die to protect anyone of you. You can’t cast her away. You can’t make her leave her family. So if you are going to let anyone back into the serpents, make it her. You know you would never regret her being there. So if you hate me, then don’t do it for me. Do it for you, do it for the serpents but most importantly do it for Toni.” Cheryl was calm as she spoke. She stood tall and proud and just waited for any indication that she could fix what she thought was her fault.

Jughead stood and thoughts went swirling through his brain. He stood there, trying to decide if it would make him a weak leader. If he was being a little bit of a hypocritea few days ago, the turn of events today, he decided that he probably didn’t really need to keep Toni out. Fangs is like a brother to him but he crossed the line many times. And he will still protect him but Toni being out for something she didn’t even do sounds wrong, even if he doesn’t totally believe that she had nothing to do with it.

“Jughead, I’m begging you, please.”  
Cheryl finally said as silence overtook them. Both of them standing there on opposite sides of the burned out bonfire. No one said a word and Cheryl’s last words hung in the air as Jughead saw just how desperate and hopeless Cheryl seemed at the mere thought that Toni wouldn’t be accepted into the family she deserves. Cheryl stood there thinking about how much it hurt with her own family’s rejection and how Toni is way to kind and pure and innocent to ever feel like that.

Just as Cheryl had given up and turned to leave, Jughead spoke.

“You really do love her, don’t you?” Jughead finally said.

“Yeah, yeah I really do.” Cheryl let out a small smile and laugh at the memory of Toni telling her she loved her, as she turned to face Jughead. “She’s everything to me.” Cheryl said honestly, a small smile still on her lips, realising just how much she needs Toni. And if she’s being honest it scares her just how much she loves Toni topaz. But Toni’s there to help her through the fear and Cheryl is there for her too.

Jughead let out a sigh as he smiled at the thought of Toni being happy, of one his best friend’s being loved so much even if it is by someone he used to despise.

“Ok.” Jughead mumbled, catching Cheryl off guard.

“What?” Cheryl asked, slightly confused as to what’s happening.

“Toni’s back in, I’ll tell her tomorrow. I won’t let her know you were here, she may be tiny but she is fierce and would probably kill you for not letting her know you were here.” Jughead clarified.

Cheryl smiles widely and almost started crying. “Thank you so much. God she would so kill me for being here, tell me that she could’ve fought for herself, that I shouldn’t be round there when I was exiled.”

“She could’ve fought for herself, everybody knows that, it’s Toni.” He pauses slightly before continuing as Cheryl looks as if she is about to leave.  
“Cheryl, I don’t hate you. Maybe once I did and maybe I haven’t seen you as a serpent lately but I wasn’t focused on the serpents enough. I’ll think about you being a serpent soon, just wait until Toni gets settled back and everything with the gargoyle king is settled, then maybe you can come back.” Jughead smiled and looked at Cheryl as she turned to leave. He turned around to go back to cleaning, but was stopped as he heard Cheryl again.

“Thank you, I’m just grateful for you letting Toni back, and I’m sorry for everything I said, I did put the serpents in danger and I apologise for that. And btw I don’t hate you either.” Cheryl explained, still smiling at the fact that Toni will be back with the family she deserves.

“Call it truce, bombshell?”

Yeah, call it truce jones.” Cheryl said peacefully and turned to leave the woods. And as she left those woods with a satisfactory grin on her face and her heart 10 times lighter. She thought of her girlfriend and smiled deeply, thinking of just how beautiful her girlfriend will look when she can wear that serpent jacket with happiness, surrounded by her family.

Cheryl starts to think that maybe she won’t be able to love Toni the way she deserves because she deserves the whole world, but she can damn well try and as long as Toni is there with her, she will never truly be alone again. And that is enough for Cheryl blossom at the moment as she walks from the woods. She looks back without a reason and then continues her journey back to thistlehouse, back to Toni.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fiction and I meant to write some before but I just watched 3x10 and I got an idea for this so yeahhhh please tell me what to improve on as well


End file.
